Melbourne Needs its Own Hollywood Walk of Fame

September 26, 2017
In a special guest post, Dean Watson proposes a new landmark for Melbourne.

The other day I was walking down Swanston Street, staring at my feet, trying to avoid eye contact with concrete bollards, when I realised how dull, plain and downright boring the pavement is. Think of Bill Shorten. Melbourne’s CBD footpaths are less interesting than that.

In a day and age where no Brunswick lamppost is immune from yarn-bombing, it’s a wonder that nobody has done anything to permanently brighten up the city pavement. It’s for this reason Melbourne needs its own Walk of Fame.

Like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Melbourne’s Walk of Fame would feature stars bearing the names of mainly Australian artists that have left an impression upon the city. Actors, musicians, painters, directors, producers, musical and theatrical groups. Who do you think should get a star on Melbourne’s Walk of Fame? I hear Robert Doyle has already nominated himself.

Perhaps you’ve walked down Swanston Street recently and seen some of the epic, eye-catching chalk drawings that temporarily adorn the pavement? The artists behind these drawings have the right idea – Melbourne’s pavements are a blank canvas, but they deserve something more permanent.

Naturally, a Walk of Fame also raises legitimate questions, like if Banksy got a star, how long it would it take for the Melbourne City Council to destroy it? If a homeless person was found sleeping on Robert Doyle’s star, would he help them find public housing? And are reality TV stars eligible? By the way, the answer to that last question is no.

I’m a TV comedy writer and if I were one day offered a star on the Melbourne Walk of Fame, I would have no objections. After all, if there’s one group of people who know what it’s like to have people walking all over them all day long, it’s artists.

No doubt some of you are reading this thinking, “What sort of self-congratulatory codswallop is this?” And it’s true – Australians aren’t the life of the global party when it comes to talking ourselves up and celebrating our achievements. Artists, by their nature, take this reluctance to celebrate themselves to the extreme. The best of them prefer to let their art do the talking. It’s for this very reason we should shine a beacon on our city’s greatest creative heroes. Heck, if one of those concrete bollards actually does what it’s meant to do one day, we’ll give it a star too.

You used to be able to look up in the CBD and see sky. Now all you can see are looming apartment towers with faces only a mother could love. A Walk of Fame would be a terrific way of bringing some positivity back into daily life in the city. I’ve been to the Hollywood Walk of Fame and believe me, discovering celebrities’ names in the pavement makes you feel good in a way that 6am pilates never will.

It’s true that on a Saturday night, Melbourne’s Walk of Fame may turn into a Stagger Home of Fame, but during the day it could be a thriving tourist attraction. Maybe it doesn’t even have to be in the CBD’s already overcrowded streets. After all, the city needs more foot traffic like Robert Doyle needs more chins. The stars could begin at Flinders Street Station and stretch all the way along St. Kilda Road, past the arts precinct, extending all the way to St. Kilda.

In Hollywood and in Melbourne, people strive for recognition. If by striving for recognition you end up making some art along the way, great art or not, the act of making art is a good thing that contributes to a healthy society.

Whether we admit it or not, each of us is, in our own way, striving for recognition. Getting your name on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is an aspirational thing for a lot of people. Whatever you think of that as a goal, I believe that anything we can do as a society that encourages people to make art, is something worth doing.

The Melbourne Walk of Fame would not only brighten up the city’s pavements, it would be a fitting, permanent tribute to the country’s creative heroes. It would inspire more people to make art and it would help shift the discussion away from those sinister-looking CBD bollards.

Dean Watson is a comedy writer and producer who has worked on 7 Days, The Leak, and AllenWatson Investigates. He tweets here and does everything else here.

 

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Comments

  1. There was a McEwans (now known as Bunnings) in Bourke St just up the hill from the GPO. On the wall of the inside entrance to Mc Ewans there was a wall of famous people whereby they had done their hand and foot imprint.
    Store has now gone – not sure what happened to the wall.

  2. I remember this Wall Of Fame too. I wonder what became of all the hand prints? Tucked away in some forgotten archive or lost forever? Any readers know?

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